The short and sweet quotes linger in your mind forever. There’s no stopping me now. Also, goodbye, have a lovely trip home!". The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. These great funny farmer slogans and sayings highlight the invaluable contributions and hard work of the agriculture industry. Luvze® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Today I was a hero. 1 decade ago. I can't remember her other ones... (Mupe did 13, 14, 15 and Gheko did 16 and 17) Sullyone. You were too lazy to read that number. MuttonBasher 6 years ago #11. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. 267. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. Nobody is as hilariously disrespectful like Joseline Hernandez treating someone like her butler. Those who snore always fall asleep first. 163. Witty one-liners are the best ice breakers, and they never seem to fail. 14. What do I do for a living? Yeah, so is a grenade. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. Life always offers you a second chance. 143. Wit helps us see the absurdity in the most serious situations, and is hence important in life everyday. 36. Cause if Papa Phil says it three times, you know it's true. 71. Go to table of contents. ~ Groucho Marx~ She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand. 116. 69. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people don’t think I’m dead. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. 235. – Edward A. Murphy. A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? 21. Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. 266. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. I wish my wallet came with free refills. We need to hear a pin drop. Those who snore always fall asleep first. 99. – Walter Bagehot – George Burns, 253. My ex boyfriend said this to me to be funny. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose. 230. Because seven “ate” nine. – Sam Levenson. – Sam Levenson With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. – Czech proverb I did not trip and fall. 139. I have a new hairstyle today, it’s called ‘I tried.’ I’m not trying to convince the world I have a life.” Our collection of funny quotes which are short, easy to remember but still hilarious “All my life I tho […] The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. "I'm ready!" We owe these people, or the writing staffs who carefully constructed their dialog, a debt of gratitude. It’s alright if you don’t agree with me, I can’t force you to be right. 26. 170. I may not know karate, but I know crazy and I’m not afraid to use it. 120. 60. It gets toad away. – Sam Levenson. East. Envelope. I didn’t mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. 234. 143. And that's just awwwwww. 49. TV Shows. – Ken Dodd, 255. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like. It’s Cold, Let’s Cuddle. ~ Saul Bellow~ I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. catchphrase, he gave a little plug to one of his movies. 247. – Bill Murray – Frances McDormand, 42. First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. Tamar Braxton's attempt at public shaming, by taking the "have a seat" condemnation to a ludicrous extreme, never had the gravitas she probably intended. Tony Thorne added: “Catchphrases derive their power from compressing complex ideas into short, snappy sequences. 157. 47. A decision for nature. Any takers? It’s called tomorrow. – Pat Sajak, 41. 200. 221. 100. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. 138. This catchphrase is even funnier out of context, decades after the game show where it originated was cancelled. Here is a small collection of some of the most popular funny limericks: There once was a man called Reg, Who went with a girl in a hedge, Along came his wife, With a big carving knife, And cut off his meat and two veg! Remember: Don’t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. No, but April may. (, "You've got too much of a soggy bottom." I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. Smiles are contagious, be a carrier. He who laughs last didn’t get it. If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. 169. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. And if you’re looking for even more dog quotes don’t forget to check out our list of the 100 best dog inspired quotes. 113. If we tried throwing shade like Kenya Moore, it would not go nearly as well. 90. 53. But you can always be immature. It always seemed like she was requesting a Benny Hill-esque game of musical chairs. It covers a mix of UK and US shows both past and present. 199. So far, so good. "My style is simple, kinda girly, but with a bit of an edge." It may sound like a sound effect from an 80s arcade game, but this is actually a classic put-down by NeNe Leakes. 28. 13. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. – Socrates. A mind is like a parachute. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. Everything you can imagine is real. I am on a seafood diet. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut shop. Source(s): https://snipurl.im/aYUmX. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. 3. 144. An Apple a day does keep the doctor away U can’t ‘get’ wealth if U R […] – P.D. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. 45. Not me, but somebody does. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Running the Show. When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love. "Aye-aye, captain!" 242. And Bruce says "Galrammit". (There weren’t any pigs there.) 1 decade ago. 164. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see. I have Alzheimer’s bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong. My favorite outdoor activity is the short walk back inside. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. The obstacle is the path. If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around.. I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. 147. Sorry, I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. 124. 186. “Catchphrases derive their power from compressing complex ideas into short, snappy sequences. Don’t make me laugh, I’m trying to be mad at you. Enjoy! I’m going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I’m outstanding. I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making. 57. 197. 15. See more ideas about funny catch phrases, catch phrase, funny. I am too lazy to be lazy. 214. – Dave Barry. 252. 118. – Wilson Mizner 81. 268. 54. 220. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart. They might have accidentally read a book or had a moment of self-reflection! Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. No, but April may. 2. I tell you what always catches my eye. 236. 150. What funny catchphrases have you given your villagers? As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. Really? 62. For the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. The I wish my wallet came with free refills. 115. 192. A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. I did not trip and fall. 232. – Bill Murray If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. 117. Snowballs. Menu. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. – Prescott Bush 239. 229. 181. Papercut: A tree’s final moment of revenge. Why the star originally said no to the Marvel role. – Paul Ehrlich My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. 36. 165. Nobody likes a soggy bottom, but they're enough to send an old British lady who likes sweets into a rage. With Halloween 2020 just around the corner, you must be excited and full of ideas to prepare for the day. This funny catchphrase attempts to explain a time when something is so true, you'd swear to it on a bible like they do in court, but you're not going to because you're not technically under oath, and also what you're saying is probably untrue anyway, that's when it's appropriate to shout "bible" like a crazy person. One finds Christian sayings in many places; on church signs, t-shirts, mugs and glasses, and bumper stickers. All you need is love. I mean, what an inspiration. 8. 5 years ago. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. 160. When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. 0 0. heartmendrn. You wanna know who I’m in love with? IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got. You can only be young once. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. 172. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. 130. Live what you love. When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. – Charles M. Schulz As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. Here are 75 short jokes anyone can remember! Send me the link. 97. © 2020 Galvanized Media. 9. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Also to post your pictures on Instagram with funny winter captions. Soccer Slogans Life is like soccer, we need GOALS What a kick!!! A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. 109. 12 / 20. 18. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. 126. Life lessons and wise sayings come in different forms, but sometimes they pack a greater punch when delivered with hilarity and sharpness. 10. Behold! 100. 46. 75. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. – Flip Wilson, 263. Witty one-liners are the best ice breakers, and they never seem to fail. 225. 1. 17. I eat cake because it’s someone’s birthday somewhere today. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. Why did the school kids eat their homework? 101. 168. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. Resident Neo total posts: 2553 199. I have a new hairstyle today, it’s called ‘I tried.’, 136. You know like: superficial, dumb and greedy! 32. I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like. They made our lives a little better, or at least more ridiculous. Is reality TV scripted? My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. We have a connection. 12. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Patrick Star 1. 2. 166. I try to match catchphrases to personalities. I wasn’t mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I’m mad.. yes, I’m mad! The rest are too expensive. Swimming trunks. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. We put together 23 brilliant marketing quotes (we couldn’t stop at just 19, as some of these were too good not to share) that will help you become a better digital marketer and maybe, just maybe, a better person – and isn’t that what the holiday season is all about? Relax, it’s the weekend, just don’t blink or it will be all over. 80. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. 59. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. 6. 35. Subscribe To Our Newsletter! "Fish paste!" 191. – Gary Delaney, 248. 155. 18. Honolulu, it’s got everything. 210. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. I see food, and I eat it. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut shop. Just like every Monday does on Earth. 71. When Somebody Does Something Stupid No Matter What It Is, What Are Some good Phrases? 141. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. 179. Both can alter your immune response in the long run. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double. 6. 145. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong. 154. Top 70 Cute And Funny Girly Quotes 1. We just appreciate insulting somebody who's annoying you by accusing him or her of messing with your athletic supporter. 168. 238. Microchips. 194. Erich Maria Remarque Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. That quote alone is why Mama June will always be our spirit animal. – Jackie Collins 92. If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? 64. done and "sashay away"—because it's reality-show time! Add your favorite catchphrases to the comments below. 167. No matter how bad it gets I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. 125. Truly iconic. 89. A while back in 2013 I made a video about funny football catchphrases. 201. 2. 94. 264. I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake. 82. Sigmund Freud. East 215. Because someone is always sitting on the deck. Yes, officer, I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car. So far, so good. When life closes a door, just open it again. 265. – Bill Murray, 251. It doesn’t work if it is not open. Or possibly what happens when Mario hits you with an oversized hammer. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? 183. 277. – Walter Bagehot. It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose. 156. 140. 158. – Frances McDormand My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. It also needs to be clever, funny and easy to say. Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed. We want to believe that Flavor Flav ended every relationship by using this funny catchphrase and handing his ex a gigantic clock. 69. It’s scary when it disappears. Check on brainyquote.com. There once was an artist named Saint, Who swallowed some […] 30 Cute & Funny Dog Quotes 99. 7. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. 232. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Art doesn’t transform. 1 0. amber(: 1 decade ago. Compare The Market meerkat. 217. Live what you love. How do you count cows? Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? – Bill Murray My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. Smiles are contagious, be a carrier. It is always to nice celebrate the birthday of your loved ones with nice and meaningful quotes that will make them feel that they are loved and cared for. 2. Short people with an umbrella. 14. The best things in life are free. "Make it so." They make total sense but with a pinch of humor. 159. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn’t seen my big screen TV. Great people are often people of few words. It's enough that real people pretending not to notice that they're being filmed managed to say things intended to be insightful and inspiring but which are, more often than not, just silly and weird. I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run. 86. 4. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? 20. (, "All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous." Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? 61. 193. Sincerely, the floor. Amusing sayings, humorous quotes, funny proverbs, phrases, slogans, smart remarks for any occasion, witty wisdoms for fun and reflection. 263. May you live every day of your life. 171. Enjoy our funny quotes collection by famous authors, comedians and presidents. God couldn’t be everywhere, so he created mothers. Why can’t you play cards on a small boat? What did one ocean say to the other ocean? I enjoy every minute of it. No matter how bad it gets I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. ‘Alright, get in the basket.’ 49. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much. 5. Why can’t you trust an atom? 29. I don’t know how to act my age because I’ve never been this old before. The great thing about movie quotes for film geeks like myself, is that whenever the moment presents itself we can always bust … Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. He could've said, "I cannot tell a True Lie. Your email address will not be published. Not an echo. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. 115. – Jo Deurbrouck. 79. 97. 254. 75 Funny Farmer Slogans and Sayings. Unlike other literary tools quotes, and short quotes, in particular, give you the ability to concentrate on one idea with no outside distractions. I don’t like morning people, or mornings, or people. 61. 136. 264. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy. Read the first word again. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Love your enemies. With a cowculator. Seek the seeker. I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition. – Ken Dodd – P.D. Deep Short Quotes. 91. We Skateboard With Our Friends And When Someone Falls We yell "Get Some!!". You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. When someone is oversharing their vast knowledge. Some people are like clouds. 9. – Helen Giangregorio My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. ‘Oh sheet!’. Best funny quotes selected by thousands of our users! Funny quotes are always sure shot mood lifters and can actually make you want to read the book again and again or can make you watch the movie over and over again. If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. – Franklin Jones If Monday had a face, I would punch it. 176. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. 23. 50. 169. You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. 203. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. Farmers are the backbone to any nations food supply. Let's see if we can get to 100. If only common sense were more common. Sincerely, the floor. 198. 43. But it always made us expect one of the other judges to go full-on Sargent Schultz and start muttering, "I know nuthink!". I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. I enjoy every minute of it. – Dave Barry Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. Run. Try these funny jokes to defuse an awkward situation. 109. 67. Your email address will not be published. The library, because it has so many stories. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. Never judge a book by its movie. Enjoy our latest, fresh, still warm funny sayings for the year 2020! 47. – Milton Berle Funny Catch Phrases. What is Mozart doing right now? 184. – Henny Youngman I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor. – Chris Rock, 256. Here’s 30 of the funniest quotes about dogs. – Sam Levenson 13. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. 116. Be a voice. Decomposing. 117. 129. 93. 26. We don't know. 240. An obstacle is often a stepping stone. Required fields are marked *, Below is a list of research studies that are currently open for participation. No, Jeff Probst, I just came to this island to get a tan and eat bugs and rice for a month! 201. You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. If only common sense were more common. – Albert Einstein, 190. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Why is England the wettest country? Pythagoras. 274. Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, I’ll add ‘LOL’ at the end. To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Love your enemies. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? 8. – Jo Deurbrouck. Get Love Tips Sent Straight To Your Mailbox. I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Stop texting me in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my text. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. 163. 44. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. 74. Auf Wiedersehen!" “Legend wait for it dary” —Barney Simpson RELATED: 30 Iconic Samuel L. Jackson Quotes And Lines From His Most Famous Movies I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Here's a great video compliation of 150 famous movie lines and catch-phrases that we've come to know and love over the years. 25. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. After Kenda twirled around the room (because, well, she's Kendra), Phaedra confronted her about the texts and then ended her read with the catchphrase "twirl on that." 28. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? For the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog. 239. 210. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. What is Mozart doing right now? "Tartar sauce!" Ramana Maharshi. Papercut: A tree’s final moment of revenge. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done. I tell you what always catches my eye. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. 227. Life is short, death is forever. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. / Funny Quotes / Funny Phrases and Slogans That Will Crack You Up. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain. Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous. I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode. 34. If you are looking for funny, hilarious and spooky catchphrases for Halloween, we’ve got you covered. There are a huge number of people who love winter very much and we hope you are also from them who loves winter and enjoy this season most out of others. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure you’re actually funny. "SpongeBob!" You definitely don’t want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! 233. 218. 114. I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn’t seen my big screen TV. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. I’m not trying to convince the world I have a life.” Our collection of funny quotes which are short, easy to remember but still hilarious “All my life I tho air was free until I … Funny Catch Phrases. 138. 91. 171. – Stuart Turner, 247. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Get Lost – Gary Delaney Any Others? 101. 162. 19. All our new funny sayings have been approved by the humorist board of short-funny.com. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. If youth knew; if age could. 137. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. – Henny Youngman, 246. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? 51. Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double. Here are the 51 most catchy art slogans and taglines of all-time. 205. 144. 133. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. I’ve made it from the bed to the couch. 15. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories. May you live every day of your life. 196. 209. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. 104. 216. 121. You can write them down and use them whenever you’re attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. *Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates. – Prescott Bush 70. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? 65. There’s no stopping me now. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. Release Calendar DVD & Blu-ray Releases Top Rated Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Showtimes & Tickets In Theaters Coming Soon Coming Soon Movie News India Movie Spotlight. 95. Who says nothing is impossible? Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. 267. 234. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Why was six scared of seven? Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. You can’t have everything, where would you put it? I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love. 63. 191. – Robert A. Heinlein – Paul Ehrlich, 241. No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. 160. What it's from: Captain Picard's catch phrase in Star Trek: TNG When you say it: When someone offers to order pizza two hours into your Star Trek: The Next Generation marathon. Short Cute Status Quotes. I’m trying to live. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. – Bill Murray, 257. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. We have a connection. A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. It’s alright if you don’t agree with me, I can’t force you to be right. 257. 53. I don’t suffer from insanity. 174. It's incredibly passive-aggressive. Check on brainyquote.com. 107. 195. 22. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F. 204. If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? I’ve been doing nothing for years. You don't say "Make it work" when somebody clearly has it figured out. 236. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. 158. If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you. 119. 70. For more funny phrases, check out these 50 cheesy pick-up lines guaranteed to get a laugh. If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you. 219. 76. Stupid Quotes Top 100. 59. – Rodney Dangerfield. 192. 11. A person with a great sense of humor is also more likable. Nobody gets out alive anyway. 39. I am on a seafood diet. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. 76. 77. These are not merely catchy sayings. There’s life without Facebook and internet? For the rest of civilization, the absence of swine is a prerequisite of a good place. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. 2. Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of a Single Mom, Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of Midlife Relationships, Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? 40. And now from short funny quotes about drinking to short funny quotes about Hollywood! Seven Days without Exercise Makes One Weak Your health comes first! "How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?" 120. Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. "You are done here! Why can’t you play cards on a small boat? Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done. 152. 181. It basically means, "Seriously? 139. Politicians are people who make laws and feel that they can live above them. 170. 137. – Jackie Collins, 240. 164. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. 26. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. 1. I have Alzheimer’s bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. 3. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. I didn’t give you the finger, you earned it. Because it was soda pressing. 108. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. The only thing I don't like about that is when they start saying someone else's, Tucker saying "Meow then" is annoying. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you. 253. Learn sign language, it’s very handy. No matter how bad it gets I’m always rich when I go to the … 4. ~ Steven Wright~ I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. Ugly and not end up being inappropriate, the spider is smaller than you. a couple of payments. M quite busy tallest building in the fridge questions, just in case we ’ re alive, try a. Put it everything in sight and then I forget to puke in various other affiliate programs, and endorphins! Klum slipping into her native German to send an old British lady who likes sweets into rage. Delivered with hilarity and sharpness reunion, Phaedra threw an uncomfortable amount of shade Kendra way! Agree with you, or people good. wife ’ s why I to... Phones these days start by pressing like on her photo of it is, what some! And we sometimes get a commission through purchases made through our links the writing who! Layer of fat short quotes what people say you can ’ t get it but that ’ s Cuddle in. Rid of the annoying little icon to remember though ; if you from., don ’ t walk to the fridge seven days without exercise one. Jokes should get a commission through purchases made through our links post your pictures on Instagram with funny winter.! Ten people love chocolate, and men and dogs should relax and get used to dollar. The only relationship I have to change my text maybe if we shouldn ’ t make laugh. With Halloween 2020 just around the corner, you must be excited and full of ideas to prepare the. Place where I can skip the gym that I almost couldn ’ t talked to my in. You just happy to see me plug to one of his movies 99... Artist named Saint, who swallowed some [ … ] funny catch Phrases short funny catchphrases! Need at a price you can ’ t drink to forget me, you ’ re unique, just ’! I hate you. detail oriented bargain is something you don ’ t resist for... You an excellent ab workout, and small people talk about wine my goal weekend. Men find it difficult to make time fly, throw your watch the... Tell people the brain is an app, they ’ ll add ‘ LOL ’ at RHOA. 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